Tag Archives: self help

Can Meditation be a Bad Thing?

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We all read and hear about the many mental, physical and other benefits of meditation. Though this last few days I have been considering if meditation can become a bad thing.

I started meditating properly 8 weeks ago and I haven’t missed a day since then. I have done 20 minutes in the morning and then started 60 minutes later on through the day. I did miss a few of the 60 minute sessions while on holiday. I decided to swap them out, so I would do a 60 minute meditation first thing in the morning to make this easier to get into habit. It would then be absolutely easy peasy to throw in the extra 20 minute meditation session later in the day, even if I have become tired.

So in 8 weeks of building up the times I meditate, I have now done about 2 days worth of meditation in total. This last few days I have considered doing another 60 minute session in the middle of the day or to even extend my morning session to a 2 hour session.

I have stopped myself from doing this at the moment. That doesn’t mean I wont do this in the longer run. Though this behaviour is so typical of me. I am either all or nothing. 8 weeks in to be doing 2 hours and 20 minutes a day is a little over the top.

I realised the reason I want to do it for longer is to help my days go faster. Especially when I have a day in which I’m battling with my emotions and feelings. I have been thinking over and over “just throw in a meditation session and forget about it all”. Though I fear that this is escapism and may produce more problems than I already had. I fear it will produce a state of mind where the things I would normally enjoy outside of meditation will become duller and I will not want to do them. I worry that all I will want to do is meditate.

Meditation was taken on for two reasons, 1 was to make me a better runner, and the other was to help me gain balance and help with my bipolar moments in life. I’m on a quest at the moment to heal myself of my mental health problems. Many have deemed this to be dangerous and to take great caution. Though this is the choice I have made. I can not wait 4 months between psychiatry appointments expecting them to fix all my problems. I can’t sit around waiting in the meantime and allow my mental health to dictate my emotions, feelings and actions. So I have had to take action myself right here right now.

I’m going to keep watching these desires to meditate more often, and see if they continue when I feel more balanced in general.

PS on the other hand I may just be having mid week, post race blues from the weekends 8.5 mile fun run 😉

Peace and love
-ScottyRunner

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Sending a Message of Apology.

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Someone close to me has removed me from Facebook now. It’s not from my post the other day about leaving groups. It’s because I pushed them too far with my constant questions around diet and nutrition. This person I felt very highly about and I still do and it’s really sad to see the friendship has come to an end.

I have been on a journey for some time. Sometimes I may come across as being a bit selfish. I don’t mean to be. I don’t know if it’s because of the abuse I endured as a child or what. I spend each day trying to better myself and to fix all the wrongs my parents taught me. I have been exploring myself, developing myself and been trying to grow into being the kind of person I want to be and others would like me to be.

Someone who is loving, caring, compassionate, generous, giving. Someone who is generally happy, joyful and peaceful. Someone who can pass on the positive energies of these qualities to others.

This post is my apology to the people involved. I can not contact them now but I can send out a message telepathically. Getting it written down also helps me put it into perspective. I also apologise to anyone else who may believe I am rather selfish. I do not mean to be and I am trying to be better.

I’ve 3 books on spiritual transformation to read while I’m on holiday. One a week… I was going to start them before I left but wanted to hold them for the holiday. I’m sure they will help even just a few % in personal development. 🙂 Cus of course also me being a better person gives you a better friend… and we both deserve that. Thanks for your patience 😉

To my dear friend who I have lost I wish him all the happiness in the world. For this life and all the many lives ahead of him.

All I truly want is to love myself and be happy and to be able to pass that on to others.
-ScottyRunner

On and up.


1 Year With no Shampoo. What’s next?

I think it’s silly how we are apparently supposed to use things like shower gel, shampoo, conditioners etc. Humans were more than happy to not use them at all until someone spread the seed of doubt and came up with a product to fix that doubt.

I believe today marks a year since I gave up using shampoo, conditioner or hair styling products in my hair.

All I have used to wash my hair is water and the results were so great after the first few weeks, that I just kept not putting chemicals on my head.

I am thinking about starting a new challenge now though not sure how it’ll work on holiday. It depends how greasy the sun lotion is. I am going to try not using any shower gel or soaps on my body.

I’ll see how it goes over a few days first then I’ll try a week. I’ll have Philip keep me in check and tell me if I stink or not 😉


Meditation and Shrinking “The Cloud”.

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I have been meditating for about 4 months now, though I have only recently taken to guided meditation through HeadSpace. This can be found as an app or online.

During my earlier sessions I was told to imagine the sky, and see the clouds clearing if it was overcast. I could then either imagine a bright clear blue sky or see a small white bubbly cloud.

I have been thinking about this over the last few days and instead of the clear blue sky during meditation today I decided to accept that there are some negative things in the world. The thing is though we have the choice whether we wish to feed that cloud and make it larger or if we want to keep the skies almost clear.

So today during my meditation I decided the small cloud will stay there. Inside of that cloud is where I put all those little demons that I have already dealt with or don’t want to deal with right now.

So one day I may be walking down the street, I’m whistling and smiling and just generally darn right happy as usual! Then someone or something steps into my space and tries to pull that energy down. I begin to notice my emotions slightly change and this small cloud is directly over my head, it roars and strikes and then starts to rain.

Then within just a few seconds I look up, I laugh. That cloud is so small. I take 2 steps forward in the direction of sunlight and all of a sudden all my problems have once again gone away.

I thought if the sky was completely clear then if a storm did brew up all of a sudden I wouldn’t have made a connection with the small cloud to easily be able to step away from it. The danger then would be the feeling of being pulled under a storm that you can’t get out of.

and all it took was just the simple choice to take a few steps forward and choose to step out from under the cloud.


Daily Dose of Positivity and Awesomeness

Simply as the title states. A Big whopping dose of inspirational quotes to ponder over and some absolutely stunning pictures of life and Earth 🙂

I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

Lots of love to you all.
-ScottyRunner

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Dont let yourself down


Meat Eaters… Love them or hate them?

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Before I became Vegan I was paleo. This meant that I mainly ONLY ate meat, poultry, dairy, eggs, cheese, fish and honey.

Back then I had progressed through some stages, ethical shopping, wise spending, organic produce, organic meats, reducing waste etc. I also started to live by some of the other elements to Paleo which I enjoyed a lot. Even today I find some of them are important. Being barefoot more often, rolling around in dirt and acting like a kid again, getting adequate sleep and rest and working on your mind, meditating, yoga etc.

After a long time of eating mostly all meat I began to start to feel a little uneasy about what I was eating. I then even started to call myself a ‘considerate meat eater’ whatever that means? It was from then that I started looking for something. I don’t know what but I kept looking and I came across the Earthlings movie.

After watching this I changed overnight. I gutted the entire house out and started all over again as a 100% Vegan. I knew that I could not continue to do the things I was doing. After one day I went from enjoying meats (most of the time) to being absolutely repulsed by he idea of consuming it. I removed all products around the home with animal parts on or in them too.
Then it was so clear and I just didn’t understand how I never saw it before. There’s no such thing as a considerate meat eater. Organic or not. The animal just wants to live and when we kill them to eat them this can never be done humanely because we don’t need to eat animals to survive. In fact we can live much healthier longer lives being vegan.

For a while I began to wonder why everyone couldn’t see it. It was so obvious and I went on a mission trying to force this information onto others. I judged people and told them that they were wrong. I lost a lot of friends through this. Many of them good people. Many of them the same good person I was back then. I was a good person when I was a non Vegan and I’m a good person now I am Vegan. There is no distinction between the two. It’s just that I have been better informed now and taken action on what I have learnt.

I often see people posting extremely negative images and videos on Facebook. They go on to shout at the world of non Vegans and tell them to wake up. They tell them that they are wrong in doing what they are doing. They tell them they are bad people. They call them murderers, rapists, abusers and a whole myriad of negative things.

If anyone would have told me this as a non Vegan I would have pushed them away and not wanted anything to do with them. “how dare they speak to me like that. I am a good person with a good heart. I love animals too. I am not wasteful; I eat all my meat. They provide me with the things professionals tell me I ‘need’ to be healthy”.

I wonder how many people we can help spread our cause to if we use empathy and understanding and love and compassion the same way we do with animals? Since I changed my approach/attitude I have found many more people come into my life. I approach it now with love rather than hate and condemnation. I get more people asking me about Veganism than before.
“You’re always so positive and your Vegan. What made you become Vegan?” They say
“Now isn’t the time to discuss it” I reply
“oh go on”
“Oh very well then if YOU insist. What would YOU like to know exactly about Veganism and I’ll be happy to answer?”

You see how I kept them in control there? It makes them feel important and listened to. It makes them want to engage with you. Then it’s very important to address these issues with love and great care. There’s a need to explain things in simple terms nicely without ever telling them that what they are doing is wrong. Just state the facts and allow them themselves to discuss with themselves in their own heads about what is right and wrong. Often times they will come up with the idea themselves. As soon as you begin to tell them they are wrong directly you will almost immediately lose them and they will become defensive. This is normal it happens to all of us when we feel that we are being attacked. Very few people are good at dealing with these kinds of attacks on their personal choices and beliefs and so it’s best to avoid them. Let them decide for themselves.

For those who believe that animal abusers should be killed why do you believe this? No person is born bad. You can look to any child to notice this. People become a product of the society in which they are born into. Even look at people like Two Gun Crowley who went on a 3 month killing spree in New York 1931. When they finally caught him he had a note inside his jacket saying “Under my coat is a weary heart a kind one-one that would do nobody harm”. People don’t need more hate and anger and condemnation. What they need is love and compassion and empathy and education. We have it wrong at the moment. When someone commits a crime they are put in jail and the key is thrown away and not found again for a very long time. What happens to this person? They are then released back into the same environment that got them there in the first place. The system thinks that if they put people in jail they’ll do their time and not want to go back in jail again and thus not commit another crime? This doesn’t work. They need rehabilitation. They need caring for, they need to get better. They need to learn better coping mechanisms.  They need people to love them and support them. We need to expect great things from them not bad things.

I believe everyone has the ability to change. Though to change, a person must be given a chance. Nobody is beyond help if they are shown the right attention to grow into the better person they deserve to be. The better person the world deserves them to be.

On a final note I think it’s important to remember one of those key benefits to why we became Vegan. To show compassion to all living animals. As Vegans we often look to animals and feel nothing but absolute love and compassion for them. You feel it like a light inside your heart. It makes you feel content, at peace and majorly in love. We even do this to animals that eat other animals. Humans are animals too. If we can not extend our love and compassion accordingly how can we truly be vegan? Being Vegan should be much more than just caring for animals and not eating them and supporting change. It should be about spreading love to every single living thing in life. When you do this you find that much change can happen. You’ll find new people coming into your life and more of those in your life looking for answers. Be there for them as a friend. Listen to them attentively with empathy and without judgement.

It’s time to find love and happiness in your lives rather than focusing on all the bad that is happening in the world. If you feel there’s still more you need to know then make a list and research these ASAP and then you must switch off and put aside. Listen to the important things but do not let them affect your positive attitude. Make the choice to live your days in happiness. It is as simple as making the choice. Live it and breath it.

I love you all my dear friends. Stay strong, stay happy.
-ScottyRunner

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At the End of my Life Looking Back.

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I am very old now. I am beginning to approach my hundredth birthday. I feel myself becoming more and more peaceful with every single breath that I take. I feel no pain, no worry or fear. I know that I am close to passing over. I know my time in this physical body is coming to a close and that a new chapter is to begin for me. I’m sat here on my swinging chair outside my glorious home within the tropics. In front of me I see a smorgasbord of trees carrying juicy fresh organic oranges, lemons, limes, nectarines, bananas and figs and more beyond that. I see a sprawling ground full of exotic vegetables just waiting to be picked and eaten over the coming days. Beyond these I see the sun coming down over the horizon as it makes it’s way to meet the end of the oceans. The sky turns orange just as it has done 36, 250 times and more since I came into this wonderful world. I’m thinking about the amazing life in which I have had.

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From small beginning of limitations set by others and set by myself I have come far. The memories of the abuse from family I suffered as a child. I remember always being told I would never be anyone and I would never go anywhere. My life was a waste of time I should never have been born, that I was an accident. I remember the fists in my face, being strangled my by collar while thrown out of rooms and being beaten in the chest by his foot while curled in a ball on the ground. I remember the memories of those who bullied me through school. I was a victim and played easy target to them. I remember the self-harm I can still see the cuts on my arms. I can sometimes still taste the metallic taste of medications in which I overdosed on.  I’m also remembering my shaky start to adulthood. Oh how I have been ‘rich’ and been poor but always remained poor. Remember that being rich goes beyond what is in your wallet. I’m remembering the times of drug use as a means to escape. The times of smoking and drinking, feeding my body with poisons, perhaps because I didn’t feel that this body of mine deserved to be treated well. The times I allowed my thoughts to overtake my happiness.  Yes the first quarter of my life was a difficult one. Though I’m not the only one. I remember all this but the pain is such a distant emotion. It’s just as though the printer has almost ran out of ink. Actually I think it might have. All I sense from my past is gratitude. For without all the trying times in my life I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have grown how I have grown and I wouldn’t be able to help others the way I have. I’m thankful for all the experiences I have had in life both good and bad.

Since then on my life changed. Disbelief was taken away, limitations erased. I learned better coping mechanisms. I found the positive in the negative. I noticed steps back and decided not to dwell on them but move forward, I’d began to find my way and my achievements have been plentiful. One of the most important being my ability to live in balance with joy and happiness, regardless of any mental health issues I had when I was younger. I have learnt to be inspired, motivated and positive throughout my life. Even greater I have been able to pass this onto others as my full time mission.

I have mastered the Spanish language and am living in a Spanish speaking country. Here I have been working in harmony with nature and my surround with the food I eat and energy I use.

I have had a successful and inspiring running career. I have ran across vast distances.  I have covered hundreds and thousands of miles across national trails throughout different lands. Always on a journey, inspiring myself, motivating myself moving my body, and most importantly, my mind forward with every single step that I took. I have continued to blog about this in some way or another through my life though the methods have changed somewhat since the ‘blogging’ days. I’m not quite sure what they call it now. This has just as importantly brought inspiration to others which has been my life’s work.

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I have achieved almost everything I had hoped for. I think that achieving everything that we ever wanted in life is a fallacy. To have achieved everything is to stop being inspired, stop being motivated to stop learning more, to stop loving and creating and living. Love, joy, happiness, peace, fulfillment knows no boundaries and I will continue to build on all those things I already have a great deal of and feel a great deal of now. Right through these last days of my life. The world is a vast place with infinite things that we can do out there and learn out there, and within ourselves. I know for sure I won’t have completed all my goals when I pass. For one I have just started to rebuild on my knowledge of quantum physics and I do not expect to learn all that I’d hoped to within my last few days. I do it though because it fascinates me. So yes I know I will have goals that I have not achieved and I am happy with that so long as I am happy with WHO I currently am, and I am.


The first quarter of my life was difficult but my my my how I have made up for it with the rest of my life. All the earlier difficulties were there to help build my strength to have the amazing life which I have had. 

Philip is my life and soul and he has been with me right up until this day.  We have had trying times the two of us. We have not always enjoyed the same things. Sometimes we wondered if we were suited to each other we spoke about how we both imagined doing the things we loved most as individuals, together, laughing and smiling. Though there are many things that fascinate my husband which do not fascinate me. We spoke to each other about the things we do love and our dreams and we created dreams together and achieved those with support for one another and love. People believe love is lost when the spark has gone. Love isn’t a spark between two people that’s an infatuation which turns into something much deeper, something that was never achieved with anyone else I ever met. He has been my lover and he has been my best friend, and a little piece of his spirit will be with mine when I leave this world, just as it is now. We are both very old now and very happy. Living our final days together in peace.

I have found the diversity in the people I have met very interesting and rewarding. So many people don’t give themselves enough credit but luckily they can find it within themselves. It’s always been there, they just need to find it, accept that they deserve to feel that way and have those things and make the choice. People who have come to me for life coaching who thought their lives where in ruins have come out with some of the most inspiring and profound things I ever thought was possible. They were just simply beyond my wildest dreams. I have seen 100s of people and every single one of them enriched my life with my guidance to enrich theirs. We are capable of so much more than we know. The great riches in life are not just for a select few but can be achieved for anybody. This has enriched both my life and theirs and allowed me to better my service by sharing their wisdom along with mine to the next person. This has been pretty powerful stuff.

Another thing that’s interesting is how life just continues to go on and on. The hills and mountains continue to sit there almost never moving through their existence. The wind continues to blow through everything that is passes. The trees continue to grow as tall as buildings. The birds continue to chirp their beautiful songs. As I come towards the end of my life I see all new life around me coming into existence every day. I sit and I think of all the trivia that I allowed into my life once upon a time. All those silly things that I allowed to get on top of how I felt and thought about myself, other people and the rest of the world. I may be old and I may be wise, but overall I am only a tiny fragment of something much greater, the great cycle of life, and all that which is beyond the beyond of the universe and our minds. What an amazing world.

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I had lost who I was when I was younger I think most people get lost at some point in their life. I think they do as they believe they should. They do what they are told to do and never question for many years why they are doing it. They never question whether it’s what they want to do. Even more scary many people know they are not happy every day and decide to not take action. Does it make them happy? Do they love what they do? Do they love who they are with? Then they find themselves lost. They look in the mirror and don’t see the true reflection of who they should be and want to be. They don’t see the reflection of who they are inside. They are the reflection of the person the system tells them to be. They are living by that system as ‘individuals’ and are also limiting themselves greatly by self-limitations and limitations imposed on them over the years by family and friends. I think the best thing anyone could ever do in life is to become lost for a length of time in which to go back to basics and discover who you really are inside. What makes YOU happy? What do YOU want? Sometimes when our lives have taken control of us, we are sad, depressed, lonely and lost and we don’t know what we want or what makes us happy. Sometimes we feel nothing makes us happy. Think as you did as a child what made you happy then? What did you dream? Through being lost and experiencing all those emotions that go with it we have a chance to find ourselves. It may take time but stay lost and you will find a way.  Much like I did all those years ago.

Now I am much older and looking back on my life and I love the person I have become. I love the person I became a long time ago. I am proud of the work I have done and the world I have created around me. I am proud of the people I have helped.  Through sheer stubbornness to not accept that “that is life get over it” I have managed to find who I am and what I want to do in life.  I discovered how to make a living in doing what I love best. I have maintained good health through eating good nutritious healthy foods that I have mainly grown myself right here at home. I have eaten well and still been treated. Fruit are the best treats in life. I have taken up exercise most of my life and even now toward the end of my life I enjoy the occasional walk through the forest or to meditate on the beach. I have shown love and compassion to all those who have come into my life. Well the most of it anyway. Those that I have had disagreements or fights with in my younger life I have apologized to upon further contact and settled our differences. Some of those have become close friends to this day. Others we have agreed to disagree and wished each other all the luck and happiness in the world for the future, both separating with smiles, love and peace for one another. 

I wouldn’t change a thing. I have set out to achieve all the things that I held most dear to my heart to help me to be successful and wealthy and have a rich life. I have done all I can to help other people to do the same. I have done all I can to help other animals and life around me. I have spared their lives by making the choice to not eat animals nor use any products in which they need, or to use them for my own entertainment for men to profit from. I have helped any animal I could help at that current time. I have become guardian for several animals over my life, in need of a home. I am very content with the way my life has gone.

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The most important wisdom and advice I would like pass on to others at this stage in my life, would be to get lost and find yourself! It doesn’t matter how long it takes to find yourself but do so. When you do then live and breathe it with every inch of your being. You may need to make changes, you may need to let go of some of the things or even people in your life… and that’s ok. Everything will be ok.

When the heavens have come to me and it is my time.I shall close my eyes, I shall smile, I shall allow the light to enter my body and lift my soul, my spirit and the true essence of me from my body. I shall look forward to the amazing journey ahead of me to come.

Behind me I will leave my love for every single one of you.
-ScottyRunner

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